


High Maintenance

by wadapan



Category: Transformers (Marvel Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: One Shot, Stand Alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:46:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25111108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wadapan/pseuds/wadapan
Summary: A legacy system keeps Hi-Q up at night.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	High Maintenance

Hi-Q awoke to the sound of a truck horn blaring outside his apartment.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he mumbled, turning over to look at his alarm clock. The display read 2:16.

As dogs began to bark along the street, with herculean effort, Hi-Q got himself out of bed. The floorboards creaked ominously beneath his half-tonne armoured body. He fumbled for the light, a task made difficult by the lack of tactile feedback in his gauntlets.

He switched the light on.

Immediately, a voice boomed from outside.

**“Hi-Q! A matter of grave importance has arisen!”**

Hi-Q plodded over to the window and tried to slide it open, but it was stuck in its frame. He pushed harder, and the frame snapped in his hands. He swore, then—because he had nothing to lose anyway—pushed the window one last time, and it finally budged upwards.

“It’s two AM, Prime!” shouted Hi-Q.

**“I am well aware, Hi-Q. But I have reason to believe the Decepticons are planning an incursion at the local power station this very night, and I require you to use your body to fuel my Powermaster form.”**

“I was asleep! I’ve explained this to you before, Prime!”

**“Indeed you have. I was hoping you could postpone your scheduled restart by an hour.”**

“That’s not how Ne- _humans_ work, Prime! We don’t have scheduled restarts!”

**“That is lamentable, Hi-Q. I apologise. Please can you come outside and embark upon my truck mode. Time is of the essence.”**

Hi-Q stood at his window, staring down at the red cabover vehicle parked in the middle of the road outside his apartment block’s door. While he was hesitating, somebody a couple of floors down opened another window.

“Will ya shut the fuck up?!” the bloke yelled. “It’s two AM!”

**“My apologies, citizen, but this situation is of paramount importance. The safety of your race lies in jeopardy.”**

“The safety of your _face_ lies in jeopardy! I’m coming down, and by the time I get there, ya’d better be outta here!”

The window closed. Hi-Q could hear other shouts from down the street.

“What about the others?” he called down. “You woken them up too?”

**“Getaway and the rest are on an away mission, investigating a lead in the Arctic circle.”**

“The arctic fucking circle?!”

**“If our suspicions are correct, Bludgeon intends to plunge your planet into an eternal winter.”**

For a moment, Hi-Q came very close to asking Optimus Prime to elaborate on this. Instead, he took a deep breath. “The last time you called me, Prime, I clung to your grille in the pouring rain for eight hours, until you decided that the Decepticons had somehow determined your presence and were planning to delay their attack until the following lunar equinox. The time before that, we drove down the interstate for almost two whole days, and it turned out the Triggercon you were certain you’d passed going the other way was just a car with a couple of kayaks strapped to the roof.” He felt himself speed up as he talked, felt the twisting in his stomach which could’ve been anger or could’ve been the product of his enhanced metabolism. “You came to my work,” he added. “Do you have any idea how many fucking Weetabix I have to eat every morning?”

A moment of (relative) silence passed before Prime replied. **“Although not every mission we undertake results in a decisive victory against the Decepticons-”** he began.

“Shut up,” shouted Hi-Q.

**“-we must never let our guard down-”**

“Shut up! Shut up!”

**“-as the first decisive defeat we allow may spell doom for every living being on Earth.”**

“Shut up shut up shut up you stupid fucking truck!”

**“...You appear to be unusually agitated. Have I committed some kind of faux pas?”**

“It’s been ten years, Prime!” yelled Hi-Q. “Ten years since any of us have seen a Decepticon!”

**“Our war has raged for over four million years. The Decepticons are masters at stealth and long-term strategy.”**

“That’s bullshit!”

**“Hi-Q. My old friend. I am begging you. Please come outside and convert to engine form. If you do not help me, I will not be able to transform into my Powermaster configuration, and I will be forced to face the Decepticons with nothing but the considerable armament mounted on my trailer module.”**

A man emerged from the bottom floor of the apartment block holding a baseball bat. He stormed out into the road and smashed one of Optimus Prime’s mirrors.

**“Help me, Hi-Q. In this weakened state, I am powerless to stop even a human. Without you I will die at Megatron’s hands. I promise that after this mission, I will find a source of fuel that will let us live apart, and I will never come back.”**

“You always come back,” said Hi-Q. He shut the window.

**Author's Note:**

>  _High Maintenance_ was based on a pitch by Prime Radiant in [the TFWiki Discord server](https://discord.gg/N99Bygq). A complete set of annotations for this story can be found as an appendix to [the mirrored version available on my blog](https://wadapan.wordpress.com/2020/07/06/high-maintenance/2/), along with a variety of other _Transformers_ fanworks and original fiction. If you'd like to find out about my future writing, you can follow me either there or [on twitter](https://twitter.com/TheWadapan). Thank you for reading.


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